Basingstoke care home residents married for 75 years share relationship advice for Valentine’s Day

 

Hearts were melted at a care home in Basingstoke when a couple who has been married for more than 75 years celebrated their love for one another and shared their relationship advice ahead of Valentine’s Day.

The team at Care UK’s Dashwood Manor, on Bradley Way, pulled out all the stops for 97-year-old Mavis and her 98-year-old husband Ken, so they could enjoy a romantic meal for two in honour of Valentine's Day and reminisce over their 75 years of marriage.

The couple were both born and raised in Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk, and met at an evening bookkeeping class when Ken was 16 and Mavis was 14. Ken walked Mavis home that night, whose first impression of Ken was that he was, “a very nice and respectful gentleman.”

Meanwhile, recalling the night they met, Ken said, “Mavis was a very good-looking girl. It was hard not to notice her. She still has the attributes that she had when I first met her.”

A week later, the pair went on their first date to the cinema to watch ‘Green for Danger’, a thrilling murder mystery set in a hospital. Shortly after they began courting, Ken was called up for his national service as a frontline infantry soldier, and for the next three and a half years while he served the couple wrote letters to one another every other week.

They eventually married on the 12^th November 1949 at the cathedral church of St James in Suffolk. When reflecting on their big day, they recall that neither of them felt nervous and that they were just looking forward to being married to each other. Despite hailstones and snow deciding to make an appearance, Ken and Mavis said that the weather didn’t ruin their wedding as they “knew they had each other.”

The couple settled in Guildford, Surrey where they had their two children, a son and a daughter, before moving to Scotland where Ken worked as a brewer and Mavis worked at a doctor's surgery after the children had grown up.

In their spare time, Ken was part of the Rotary Club and eventually became president at one point. Mavis was president of the ‘Inner Wheel’, which is the wives of Rotarians, and they both really enjoyed being involved.  They raised money for St Luke’s Hospice in Basildon by hosting quizzes, luncheons, shows, choir performances, pantomimes and more. They said, “We raised thousands of pounds whilst there and were very proud of our work. It was always a pleasure.”

Ken has always kissed Mavis hello and goodbye and continues to do so now. Mavis is living with macular degeneration and has struggled with her eyesight for a few years now and Ken has, in her words,” become my eyes” and is a “great support and carer.”

When asked what their secret was to a long marriage, Mavis said: “We have always been best friends in love. Always respect each other and use manners. Help each other where you can. Laugh with each other, you can’t be serious all of the time. Having fun is very important. 

Ken added: “You’ve got to give and take. Know what you are likely to win, as you can’t win them all”.

When asked what advice they would give to young couples today, they said: ”Don’t see marriage as a trial before divorce. Marry someone you want to spend the rest of your life with” and to “be romantic where possible, it keeps the marriage alive.”

Dil Perera, Home Manager at Dashwood Manor, said: “We were delighted to help Ken and Mavis celebrate Valentine's Day, as they have marked an incredible milestone in their marriage that many of us aspire to reach. They are much-loved residents here at Dashwood Manor with fantastic advice that we could all learn a lot from!

“Celebrating Valentine’s Day has encouraged many of the residents to reminisce share their favourite memories, which has been great to hear. I’d like to thank Ken and Mavis for sharing their beautiful love story, as well as sharing their advice and wisdom on marriage. They truly are the perfect match!”

Dashwood Manor is designed to enable residents to live active and fulfilled lives while also promoting independence. The care home incorporates plenty of space for leisure activities and hobbies, with luxury facilities, including a café, hair and beauty salon, cinema, bar and gardens. The highly experienced team provide residential care, dementia care, short-term respite care and nursing care.